Balancing Marriage and Parenting: How to Stay Close to Your Partner

Marriage and parenting are two of the most rewarding yet challenging roles we can take on in life. When kids enter the picture, the dynamic of your relationship with your partner can change dramatically. The focus often shifts to the children, leaving little time or energy to nurture your marriage. Suddenly, conversations revolve around school schedules and doctor’s appointments, and date nights seem like a distant memory. But staying close to your partner while navigating the ups and downs of parenting is essential—not only for your relationship but also for your family’s overall happiness.

In this blog, I’ll share practical, heartfelt tips on how to balance marriage and parenting, so you and your partner can stay connected and strengthen your bond, even when life gets hectic.

1. Prioritize Your Marriage Like You Do Your Kids

It’s easy to get swept up in the day-to-day whirlwind of parenting, but your marriage is the foundation of your family. Just like you plan activities and make time for your kids, it’s important to do the same for your marriage.

One simple way to prioritize your relationship is by scheduling regular check-ins with your partner. These don’t have to be formal sit-downs—they can be a few minutes before bed or while you’re having morning coffee. Use this time to talk about how you’re feeling, any challenges you’re facing, and most importantly, show each other appreciation.

Making your marriage and parenting a shared priority is key to keeping the connection alive. When your kids see you making time for each other, it sets a positive example of what a healthy relationship looks like.

2. Schedule Regular Date Nights (and Stick to Them!)

Let’s be real—finding time for date nights when you’re juggling marriage and parenting can feel impossible. But date nights are crucial for maintaining intimacy and having fun together as a couple. Whether it’s once a week or once a month, commit to spending time alone with your partner, away from the distractions of parenting.

You don’t have to go out to fancy restaurants or plan elaborate outings. A simple dinner at home, a movie night, or even a walk around the neighborhood can be just as meaningful. The goal is to reconnect and enjoy each other’s company without the constant demands of kids.

If finding a sitter is difficult, consider swapping date nights with another family. You watch their kids one night, and they watch yours the next. Or, have an at-home date night after the kids go to bed!

3. Communicate Openly (Even When It’s Hard)

Communication is the foundation of any strong relationship, and it becomes even more important when you’re balancing marriage and parenting. Raising kids comes with its fair share of stress, and it’s easy for small frustrations to snowball into bigger issues if they’re not addressed.

Make an effort to communicate openly and honestly with your partner about how you’re feeling. If you’re stressed, overwhelmed, or just need a break, don’t be afraid to express that. Your partner isn’t a mind reader and can’t work on what is bothering you if they have no idea. Be just as willing to listen when your partner needs to share their feelings too.

Remember, you’re a team. It’s you two against the problem, not you two against each other. By being open about your needs, frustrations, and feelings, you can work through the challenges of parenting together and come out stronger.

Check out the post below on communicating to your partner!

4. Share Parenting Responsibilities Equally

One common source of tension in marriage and parenting is the unequal division of labor. In many households, one partner often takes on the bulk of parenting and household responsibilities, which can lead to resentment.

Sit down with your partner and have an honest conversation about how responsibilities are divided. Are you both feeling supported, or is one of you overwhelmed? How can you share the load more equally?

By working together to tackle parenting duties, you’ll not only reduce stress but also feel more connected as partners. Parenting is a team effort, and when you share the work, you’ll both have more energy to invest in your relationship. All this to say that it’s not always easy to share equally due to a partner’s job or both partner’s jobs, but ensuring you both establish how the responsibilities are divided will ensure resentment doesn’t build up.

5. Show Affection Daily to Balance Marriage and Parenting

When you’re in the thick of marriage and parenting, it’s easy to fall into a routine where affection takes a back seat. But small gestures of love and appreciation can go a long way in keeping your bond strong.

Something as simple as a hug, holding hands, or a quick kiss before leaving for work can remind your partner that you’re still connected. You don’t need grand gestures or romantic getaways to maintain closeness—those little moments of affection throughout the day are what truly count. Grab something at the gas station for your partner that you know they’ll enjoy, or their favorite treat while grocery shopping. Small things to let them know you are thinking of them through out your day.

6. Don’t Lose Yourself in the Role of “Parent”

Parenting is an all-encompassing job, and it’s easy to lose sight of who you are outside of being a mom or dad. But remember, you were a couple before you became parents, and it’s important to nurture that side of your relationship as well.

Find time to pursue shared hobbies or interests outside of parenting. Whether it’s cooking together, exercising, or even tackling a home improvement project, doing things as a couple can help you reconnect on a deeper level. When you’re able to see each other outside of the “parenting” role, it strengthens your relationship and reminds you of why you fell in love in the first place.

7. Create Traditions Just for the Two of You

Family traditions are wonderful, but creating rituals just for you and your partner can bring an added layer of intimacy to your relationship. Maybe it’s a weekly “Sunday breakfast” where it’s just the two of you or a simple tradition of watching your favorite TV show together every night after the kids go to bed.

These small, consistent moments of connection can create a sense of stability and joy in your marriage and parenting journey. It’s something to look forward to, a special time when you can be just a couple—without the pressures of parenting for a little while.

8. Be Flexible and Adaptable

The reality of marriage and parenting is that things don’t always go according to plan. Kids get sick, work runs late, and sometimes life just gets in the way. The key to staying close to your partner through it all is flexibility.

Being adaptable and understanding when plans change will help you avoid frustration and resentment. It’s okay if the romantic dinner you planned turns into takeout at home because the kids are sick. The important thing is that you’re spending time together and making the most of whatever situation you’re in.

9. Remember to Laugh Together

Parenting can be stressful, but it can also be incredibly funny. One of the best ways to stay connected with your partner while balancing marriage and parenting is to share moments of laughter. Whether it’s laughing at something silly your kids did or finding humor in the chaos of family life, laughter can instantly bring you closer.

My husband and I like to go to comedy shows and dinner or sometimes we even put on funny videos on youtube to laugh at together and blow off some steam. Life doesn’t always have to be serious. Embrace the funny moments and let humor be a way to relieve stress and bond with your partner.

10. Don’t Be Afraid to Seek Help

If balancing marriage and parenting feels overwhelming and you’re struggling to stay connected with your partner, don’t hesitate to seek help. Whether it’s through couples counseling, talking to a trusted friend, or joining a parenting support group, there’s no shame in reaching out for support.

Sometimes, an outside perspective can provide valuable insights and help you navigate the challenges of maintaining a strong relationship while raising kids.

Final Thoughts

Balancing marriage and parenting is no easy task, but with a little effort, communication, and plenty of love, it’s absolutely possible to stay close to your partner while raising your children. By prioritizing your relationship, making time for each other, and embracing the ups and downs, you can strengthen your marriage and create a loving, supportive environment for your family. After all, a happy marriage is one of the greatest gifts you can give your kids!