How To Reframe Negative Thoughts For Moms And Kids
Life can be overwhelming for moms and kids alike. From tantrums in the grocery store to feeling like you’re not doing enough as a parent, it’s easy for negative thoughts to creep in. For kids, struggles with self-esteem, friendships, or school can spark their own spiral of negativity. The good news? With a little intentional effort, you can teach yourself and your children to reframe those negative thoughts into more positive and empowering ones. Here’s how to get started.
What Is Reframing Negative Thoughts?
Reframing is the practice of taking a negative thought and finding a more balanced or positive way to view it. It’s not about ignoring challenges or pretending everything is fine, but rather shifting your perspective to foster resilience and optimism. For example, instead of thinking, “I’ll never get this right,” you might reframe to, “This is hard, but I’m learning and improving.”
When we model and teach this skill to our children, we give them tools to handle life’s challenges with confidence and grace.
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Why Reframing Matters for Moms and Kids
Negative thoughts, when left unchecked, can lead to stress, anxiety, and a lack of self-confidence. As moms, it’s easy to fall into patterns of self-criticism, such as “I’m not a good enough mom,” or “I can’t keep up with everything.” Kids, too, can struggle with thoughts like “I’m bad at math” or “Nobody likes me.”
Reframing these thoughts can:
- Improve mental health and emotional well-being.
- Build resilience and problem-solving skills.
- Foster stronger, healthier relationships.
By practicing reframing yourself, you set a powerful example for your children to follow.
Steps to Reframe Negative Thoughts
Here’s a step-by-step guide to help both you and your kids reframe negative thinking:
1. Recognize Negative Thoughts
The first step is to notice when a negative thought arises. Encourage self-awareness by asking questions like:
- For Moms: “What triggered this thought? Is it rooted in reality or assumptions?”
- For Kids: “What made you feel that way?”
Example:
When my toddler had a meltdown at a family gathering, I immediately thought, “Everyone thinks I’m a terrible mom.” Realizing this thought wasn’t productive, I paused to reflect. Was everyone actually judging me, or was I being too hard on myself?
2. Challenge the Thought
Ask yourself (or your child) whether the thought is based on facts or feelings. Encourage replacing harsh inner dialogue with curiosity:
- “Is this true?”
- “What’s another way to look at this situation?”
- “What would I say to a friend thinking this?”
For kids, try relatable examples: “If your friend fell while learning to ride a bike, would you say they’re bad at riding a bike? Probably not! They need more practice.”
3. Reframe Negative Thoughts with Positivity or Balance
Now it’s time to replace that negative thought with something more constructive. Focus on optimism and self-compassion:
- For Moms: Change “I’m a bad mom” to “I’m doing my best, and that’s enough.”
- For Kids: Shift “I’m not good at sports” to “I’m learning, and I’ll get better with practice.”
Personal Story:
One evening, my toddler son was upset and frustrated because he couldn’t figure out a puzzle. He angrily said, “I’ll never get it right!” I sat down with him and gently said, “Sometimes things feel hard, but we can tell ourselves helpful things instead. How about we try saying, ‘I’m learning, and I can keep trying’?” To show him what I meant, I pretended to struggle with the puzzle myself and said out loud, “This is tough, but I can try again.” Over time, I noticed this mindset starting to take root in him. The next week, when he struggled with a similar task, he said, “This is tricky, but I’ll keep trying!” It was such a proud moment.
4. Practice Gratitude
Gratitude is a powerful antidote to negativity. Make it a habit to reflect on the positive aspects of your day, even when things feel tough.
- For Moms: Keep a journal where you jot down three things you’re grateful for every night. Check out the 5-Minute Gratitude Journal on Amazon for an easy way to get started.
- For Kids: Share “highs and lows” at bedtime, focusing on something good that happened during the day.
Keyword phrase: reframe negative thoughts
5. Use Affirmations
Affirmations are positive statements that help shift your mindset. Encourage repeating affirmations like:
- “I am enough.”
- “I can handle this challenge.”
- “I’m learning and growing every day.”
Create a list of affirmations for kids, such as “I am kind,” “I am brave,” or “Mistakes help me learn.” Check out these Affirmation Cards for Older Kids on Amazon to get started with colorful, kid-friendly options.
Activities to Teach Kids Reframing
Here are some fun, practical ways to introduce reframing to children:
✨ “Thought Detective”
Teach kids to be “thought detectives” and investigate their thoughts. Give them a magnifying glass and let them pretend to “examine” whether a thought is helpful or not.
✨ “Flip the Script”
Turn reframing into a game. Write down common negative thoughts on one side of a card and work together to reframe them positively on the other side.
✨ Storytime Reframing
Read stories where characters face challenges and discuss how they might reframe their thoughts. For example, in “The Little Engine That Could,” the engine reframes “I can’t” to “I think I can.” Find “The Little Engine That Could” on Amazon. Here are two other excellent books to explore:
What about you?
Have you tried reframing negative thoughts? Share a moment when you or your child turned a challenging situation into a learning opportunity in the comments below. I’d love to hear your experiences!
Looking for even more ways to tackle negativity? My free downloadable guide, “5 Steps to Reframe Negative Thoughts for Moms and Kids,” is packed with additional strategies, real-life examples, and actionable tips to help you and your children build a resilient mindset. Sign up for my email list to grab your copy today!
Final Thoughts on Reframing Negative Thoughts
Reframing negative thoughts is a skill that takes practice, but it’s well worth the effort. By modeling this mindset and teaching it to your kids, you can create a more positive, resilient household. Remember: It’s not about achieving perfection but embracing progress. Together, you and your children can learn to see challenges as opportunities to grow—one thought at a time.
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