How to Tell if It's Mom Brain or ADHD

Motherhood is chaotic, exhausting, and full of mental to-do lists that never seem to end. If you’ve ever walked into a room and completely forgotten why, left your coffee in the microwave (again), or struggled to keep track of appointments, you might have blamed it on mom brain. But what if it’s something more?

As someone who has ADHD myself, holds a bachelor’s degree in psychology, and is completing my master’s in social work, I know firsthand how tricky it can be to tell the difference between ADHD and the everyday mental fog of motherhood. I’ve also spent years working in the mental health field, helping others navigate these challenges.

So how do you know if it’s just the mental overload of parenting or if ADHD might be playing a role? Let’s break it down.

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What Is Mom Brain?

“Mom brain” is the term many moms use to describe forgetfulness, brain fog, and feeling scattered—especially in the early years of parenting. It happens because:

Sleep deprivation – Broken sleep affects memory and focus.
Hormonal changes – Pregnancy and postpartum shifts impact cognitive function.
Mental overload – Managing a household, kids, and work is a lot to juggle.
Emotional labor – Keeping track of doctor’s appointments, birthdays, grocery lists—it’s all on you.

These factors can make you feel like you’re constantly misplacing things, zoning out mid-conversation, or forgetting simple tasks. But mom brain is typically temporary—it improves as kids get older and you get more rest.

What Is ADHD?

ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects executive functioning—things like memory, attention, impulse control, and organization. It’s not just about being forgetful or hyperactive; it’s about struggling with how your brain processes and prioritizes information.

Many women, especially moms, don’t get diagnosed until adulthood. That’s because ADHD in women often looks different from the stereotypical “hyperactive boy” image we grew up with. Instead, it can show up as:

Chronic forgetfulness
Constant mental clutter
Struggling with organization
Feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated
Difficulty switching between tasks
Time blindness (underestimating how long things take)

The Overlap: Why ADHD and Mom Brain Feel the Same

It’s easy to see why so many moms wonder if they have ADHD or just typical mom brain. Both can make you feel scatterbrained, exhausted, and constantly behind. But there are some key differences.

**Signs It’s Likely Just Mom Brain**

It started after pregnancy or motherhood.
Your symptoms improve with more sleep or rest.
You can generally function well when not overloaded.
You weren’t forgetful or scattered before having kids.

Signs It Might Be ADHD

You’ve always struggled with focus, memory, or organization.
You lose track of time or struggle to estimate how long tasks will take.
Small tasks feel overwhelming (like answering an email or folding laundry).
You hyperfocus on things you enjoy but procrastinate on things you need to do.
You constantly feel overstimulated or burned out, even when well-rested.

If these ADHD signs sound familiar, it might be worth talking to a doctor or mental health professional about an evaluation.

Personal Story: My ADHD Realization as a Mom

For most of my life, I thought I was just bad at being an adult. I was the queen of last-minute scrambling, missed deadlines, and forgotten appointments. But once I became a mom, the mental load felt crushing. No planner or to-do list could keep me on track.

I’d put something down for just a second and immediately forget where I left it. I’d start a load of laundry, get distracted, and only remember when I ran out of clean clothes. I felt constantly behind, like I was failing at motherhood.

That’s when I started researching ADHD in women and realizing that this wasn’t just mom brain. It was how my brain had always worked—I just never had to manage this much before.

If this resonates with you, you’re not alone. ADHD often flies under the radar in moms because we’re supposed to be forgetful, tired, and overwhelmed. But if it’s affecting your daily life and self-esteem, it’s worth looking into.

How to Manage Mom Brain (and ADHD!)

Regardless of whether you’re dealing with mom brain, ADHD, or both, there are things that can help:

1. Externalize Your Memory

Use a digital planner or paper planner to offload mental clutter.
Set reminders on your phone for everything (even drinking water!).
Use sticky notes or a whiteboard in high-traffic areas (like the fridge).

🛒 Amazon Pick: This ADHD-friendly planner is a lifesaver for managing daily chaos.

2. Simplify & Automate

Use grocery pickup or subscription services.
Batch similar tasks together (laundry + meal prep + cleanup).
Set up auto-pay for bills so you don’t have to remember due dates.

3. Tackle Overstimulation

Noise-canceling headphones can help block out background noise.
Dim the lights or use warm lighting to reduce sensory overload.
Designate quiet time, even if it’s just 10 minutes alone in a dark room.

🛒 Amazon Pick: These noise-canceling earbuds are a game-changer for overwhelmed moms.

4. Implement the Two-Minute Rule

If something takes less than two minutes to do, do it immediately. This prevents small tasks from piling up and becoming overwhelming.

5. Use the “Body Doubling” Technique

This ADHD-friendly trick involves working alongside someone else (even virtually) to help stay focused. Try co-working with a friend or using YouTube “study with me” videos.

6. Make Self-Care a Non-Negotiable

Movement helps with ADHD symptoms—try yoga, walking, or dancing with your kids.
Mindfulness techniques like deep breathing or meditation can help regulate overwhelm.
Prioritize sleep—even small adjustments like a weighted blanket can improve rest.

🛒 Amazon Pick: This weighted blanket has helped me so much with sleep and anxiety.

7. Reframe “Failure” as a Learning Process

If you struggle to complete tasks or stick to systems, don’t see it as failure—see it as feedback. Keep experimenting with different strategies until you find what works.

8. Seek Professional Support

If ADHD symptoms are making life unmanageable, consider talking to a therapist, doctor, or psychiatrist. Treatment options (medication, therapy, coaching) can be life-changing.

9. Break Tasks into Tiny Steps

ADHD brains can get overwhelmed by big tasks, leading to procrastination. Instead of “clean the kitchen,” break it into micro-steps:

Load the dishwasher
Wipe the counters
Take out the trash
Sweep the floor

Checking off each step builds momentum and makes tasks feel less daunting.

🔹 Personal Example: Instead of trying to clean the whole house, I focus on one small win at a time. Even if I just unload the dishwasher, it’s progress!

10. Time Your Tasks for Motivation

ADHD brains struggle with “time blindness,” making it hard to estimate how long tasks take. Combat this by:

Setting timers for tasks (ex: 10-minute cleaning sprints)
Using the Pomodoro Technique (25-minute focus, 5-minute break)
Timing how long common tasks actually take to reframe your perception

🔹 Personal Example: I used to dread folding laundry, thinking it took forever. When I timed it, I realized it only took 7 minutes! Now, I remind myself, “I can do anything for 7 minutes.”

🛒 Amazon Pick: This visual timer is great for staying on track with tasks!

11. ADHD-Friendly Meal Planning Hacks

Meal planning is tough with ADHD, but these simple hacks help:

Theme nights: (Taco Tuesday, Pasta Wednesday) to reduce decision fatigue
Keep a master list of go-to meals to avoid rethinking every week
Use grocery pickup or delivery to avoid impulse purchases and mental overload

🔹 Personal Example: I struggled with meal planning for years. Now, I rotate the same 10 meals for a while, which saves time and energy.

🛒 Amazon Pick: This magnetic meal planner helps me stay on track!

12. Manage Mental Overload with a “Second Brain”

If your brain feels like an open browser with 100 tabs running, create a “second brain” system to store your thoughts:

A brain dump notebook for daily thoughts
A note-taking app like Notion, Evernote, or Google Keep
A voice memo system for capturing ideas when you’re on the go

🔹 Personal Example: I keep a small notebook in my kitchen to jot down random thoughts, so I don’t have to hold them in my brain.

13. Set Up “Launch Pads” to Prevent Forgetting Things

ADHD makes it easy to forget everyday essentials (keys, phone, kid’s backpack). Solve this by creating launch pads:

A designated spot near the door for important items
A visual checklist by the door (“Keys? Purse? Water bottle?”)
A packing station for daycare or school bags

🔹 Personal Example: I keep a basket by the front door for my purse, sunglasses, and my son’s essentials—no more last-minute scrambling!

14. Reduce Decision Fatigue with Fewer Choices

ADHD brains struggle with decision-making. Too many choices = decision paralysis. Simplify by:

Decluttering your wardrobe (capsule wardrobe = fewer outfit choices)
Meal prepping the same breakfast/lunch for the week
Limiting your to-do list to 3 must-do items per day

🔹 Personal Example: I wear the same type of black leggings, sweatpants, or shorts and neutral top most days—it saves me time and mental energy!

15. Reframe “Laziness” as Executive Dysfunction

If you struggle to start tasks, it’s NOT because you’re lazy—it’s because your brain has trouble initiating. Reframe self-criticism into problem-solving:

Instead of “I’m so lazy,” try: “I need a different strategy to start.”
Use external accountability (text a friend, work in a coffee shop).
Give yourself permission to start imperfectly—just begin.

🔹 Personal Example: I used to beat myself up over procrastination. Now, I use body doubling (working with a friend over Zoom) to stay accountable.

16. Embrace Imperfect Systems—Done Is Better Than Perfect

ADHD brains love creating the perfect system, but perfectionism leads to overwhelm. Instead:

Use a low-maintenance planner (simple bullet journaling vs. elaborate spreads).
Let go of needing to do things the “right way”—messy progress is still progress.
Give yourself grace when things don’t go as planned.

🔹 Personal Example: My planner used to be Pinterest-worthy but unused. Now, I keep it super simple—and it actually works!

17. Get Support: You’re Not Meant to Do It Alone

Whether it’s ADHD, mom brain, or just exhaustion, you don’t have to struggle alone:

Delegate household tasks (even if you think you “should” do them yourself).
Join an ADHD support group (online communities are amazing for this!).
Consider therapy, ADHD coaching, or medication if symptoms impact daily life.

🔹 Personal Example: I used to think I had to do everything myself. Once I started asking for help, my mental load lightened so much.

Final Thoughts: Give Yourself Permission to Work WITH Your Brain

Whether you’re dealing with mom brain, ADHD, or both, remember: your brain isn’t broken. It just works differently. The goal isn’t to force yourself into neurotypical productivity—it’s to find strategies that work for you.

And if you’re constantly feeling overwhelmed? You’re not alone. Drop a comment below and let’s chat—I’d love to hear your experiences! ❤️

Recap of ADHD & Mom Brain Management Strategies

✔ Externalize your memory (planners, sticky notes, phone reminders)
✔ Simplify & automate routines (meal planning, subscriptions)
✔ Reduce overstimulation (noise-canceling headphones, dim lighting)
✔ Use timers & time-blocking for focus
✔ Create launch pads for daily essentials
✔ Reframe “laziness” as executive dysfunction
✔ Give yourself grace & let go of perfectionism
✔ Seek support (delegation, therapy, ADHD coaching)

Affordable Mental Health Resources You Can Buy on Amazon

The Bottom Line

Mom brain is real, but if you’ve always struggled with focus, organization, or time management—especially before having kids—it might be ADHD. The good news? Whether it’s mom brain or ADHD, there are tools and strategies that can help.

Have you ever wondered if your forgetfulness is just mom brain or something more? I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments! Let’s normalize this conversation and support each other. ❤️

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